you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
