i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
