so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I could fuck to npr.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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