I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
