Yo dont text me then not text me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
