Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??

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(660): View more from Missouri

Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart

(281): View more from Texas

What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?

(660): View more from Missouri

Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni

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(856): View more from New Jersey

part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.

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(207): View more from Maine

Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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(240): View more from Maryland

I was totally pumped and so was my beard

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me

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