Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
