it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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