ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i now understand why vodka
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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