Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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