oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
