I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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