party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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