You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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