Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
