Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
