I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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