Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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