OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
