I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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