just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
