my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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