The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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