HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
