Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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