you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
