Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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