K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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