Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
