I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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