The maid of honor just puked.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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