your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
