I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
