I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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