Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?

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(312): Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place? http://tfl.nu/b6u5

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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(920): Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool http://tfl.nu/i9nx

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(305): View more from Florida

he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

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(305): he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question" http://tfl.nu/300d

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(619): View more from California

There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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(619): There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie. http://tfl.nu/om3k

Replies (31) Good night (789) Bad night (3461) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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(207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1

Replies (25) Good night (9297) Bad night (815)
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(408): View more from California

I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.

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(408): I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included. http://tfl.nu/7ela

Replies (1) Good night (2739) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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(816): As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall... http://tfl.nu/n3n5

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(217): View more from Illinois

who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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(217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht

Replies (4) Good night (1775) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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(519): Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene. http://tfl.nu/c9bu

Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy

(410): View more from Maryland

Order is debatable

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(410): Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy (410): Order is debatable http://tfl.nu/gozm

Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (521)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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(859): I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms! http://tfl.nu/ase3

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(315): View more from New York

drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.

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(315): drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached. http://tfl.nu/t45s

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(630): View more from Illinois

She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.

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(630): She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love. http://tfl.nu/5dr3

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(254): View more from Texas

I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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(254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex

Replies (10) Good night (933) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

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