it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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