Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
