It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize