im holly from the hills drunk
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
