That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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