Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!