Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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