just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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