Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
