I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
