i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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