guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
