Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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