i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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