I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
