I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
