i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
