We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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