and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
