i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
