K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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