Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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