Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
