your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
