My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
