Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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