1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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