i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
