I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
