I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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