Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
