My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
