Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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