The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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