I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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